March 3, 2019

            I didn’t realize that my new job would make me my mom’s boyfriends secretary. The shop he owns seems nice, but he won’t let me fully explore the shop. I always feel like I hear more people through the walls behind me than I do in the store itself. Jeffery owns an antique shop, and it surprises me at how many people actually go in there to buy things. I like that I mostly get to sit and only move when a customer needs help or if I need to move some things from storage to the front after a sale. I see couples come in and window shop as if their idea of a fun date was looking at antiquities. Veronica laughed when I told her about that and thought it was the most boring date idea. I noted that in my mind vault. 

I don’t know, I just want to do those cute couple things, but Veronica seems so against any stereotypical dates. It was different at first because we both wanted to be comfortable so we did those things that new daters do: ice cream, bowling, movies, dinner. Now I have to give the options to her a piece at a time and watch how she reacts. It’s frustrating, I wish she would just say what she wanted to do so we didn’t have to play stupid games.

Anyways, I think that I will be able to save up enough money to move out on my own soon. Jeffery is probably paying me too much, but I won’t say anything about that. Even though I haven’t received my first paycheck yet, but I already feel relief to know I will be making my own money again. I never thought I would say this, but I miss my college days. Yeah, I worked my ass off every day for classes and then went and worked nights, but I did stuff with my life. I never understood what pain could do to you, even long after the injury occurred. When I see someone in pain as they try to move I understand. The people who only find the strength to wake up and sit against a wall all day to beg for money have felt the greatest pain. You can see it in their eyes. I see it in the man’s eyes that sits across from the storefront. The pain he must have gone through. I hope I never know that level of pain. I think he suffers from a mental pain, and not the physical pain like me. I think that moving into my own place will make a lot of things better. I will be free to do as I please, and maybe Veronica will relax a little bit. I know it bothers her that I still live with my mom.