December 30,2018

            Holy shit does my mom know how to hook me up for Christmas. I got a PlayStation 4 with the VR system and Borderlands 2. She said she thought the movement in playing videogames might help me with recovery. I didn’t fight her logic, whether it held truth or not. I also got the usual gifts like socks and underwear. Mom made a comment that my underwear had holes in them, which was embarrassing but true, and I think I need to start doing my own laundry again. It’s just weird when you’re my age to get comments like that from your mom. I got some accessories for my Xbox, like a vertical stand with a cooling system and a new charging dock for my controller. I only have one, because well, I have no friends. I’m cool with that though, because who really wants to play split screen anymore. I also received a gift that I doesn’t seem right.

            My mom gave me a white envelope that had a ribbon tied around it to make it look like a present. I thought it was weird because most Christmas cards used red or green envelopes, but this gift paled in comparison. Mom admitted that she added the bow because she thought it would be better to wait for Christmas to give me the good news. I opened it to find a letter from my therapist that told me I no longer needed to visit him anymore because I didn’t display any signs of mental trauma at this point. I found it strange because while I could see that he might need to document his release of me as a patient, I can’t help but think he would want to tell me in person. Also, in our Thursday session, he said he looked forward to talking to me next week. The letter had his signature inked on the bottom so I couldn’t help but trust its validity. Mom looked at me with a big smile and asked if it wasn’t the best Christmas present I could ask for. I appreciated that I now had the freedom from my weekly meetings, but I continue to write here because I see it as a benefit for myself. I think I will try to call my therapist this week just to make sure. I trust my mom over anyone, but my gut tells me I should check in.

A SL and PoS post.