December 9, 2018
As awesome as staying home and doing nothing feels, I need to get out of this place. It’s to the point that the pampering annoys me and my mother seems to need to get out. I am moving around freely once again, but mom still confines me to the safety of our condo. I don’t know how much longer I can stand to stay in the condo. Maybe I can convince her to let me walk to the store. It would be a short walk where there’s a gate between our parking lot and the lot for the grocery store. Even if it does hurt a little, the break from the same walls I have stared at for the last twelve weeks will feel great. Most of the snow and ice melted so I don’t need to fear a fall again. I need to convince mom that she needs to get out because she’s been nervously cleaning her gun at night. I think she comes straight home after work. She might go out one night if I show her I can take care of myself. I think she really needs a break just as much as me.
I’ve been thinking more on my accident. My attention got drawn to Hanks neck for a reason. It’s not like I sit there and stare at peoples necks all day, that would be creepy. No, I saw something hit his neck and then disappear into the red swelling mass that made me try to talk to him. I think I looked at the area where whatever hit Hank came from, but he drove fast so I couldn’t really be sure. Maybe a bee just stung him as it flew by. Whatever hit his neck came in fast and then vanished. I wish I could figure out what it was. I didn’t see anything weird like a giant monster spitting darts but the reflections off the water were bright that day.
My therapist told me that he thought I needed to interact with some other people on a more constructive basis. He appreciated my social interactions with the online gaming community, but when he asked if I ever met any of them in person my shocked expression seemed to give him the answer. He told me it might help if I met some people in real life. I guess that might be nice. I haven’t dated in a long time so I told him I might try online dating, since going out and meeting people didn’t feel like an option. I jumped on Tinder today for the first time, and there are some interesting people on there. When I say interesting I mean they range from simple girls with only headshots to couples looking to spice up their relationship. I mean love is love, but the latter is just strange in my mind. Anyways, no success yet, but I’m hopeful. Maybe if I meet a girl my mom can worry less about me.
A SL and PoS post.